Things I learned this week

After months of resisting working for the news, I find that it's what I'm doing most of the time. And you know what? I'm actually enjoying it. A lot of interesting stuff happens in town that I wouldn't otherwise know about. For example, did you know that sometimes cops use the CB radio to make dinner plans? And every once in a while, hobos like to sleep on the highway. These are just two if the myriad of things I've learned working for the news this week. Here's a list of some more:

• When you call people and mention you're from the news, you will receive one of two reactions: mild interest if the person is a business owner, and deep annoyance if he works for the government.
• You will never have enough time to finish everything you intended. Ever.
• Only journalists know the weird mix of triumph and guilt that comes with seeing a devastating car wreck and thinking, "awesome!"
• Everyone in the world is just making things up as they go.
• Panic may be the enemy, but he tends to hang around a lot.
• Macon.com is routinely visited by bitter, hate-filled people.
  
• Anything, and I mean anything, beats looking up newspaper ads on microfilm.
• 98% of your most important contacts will not be available when you call.
  
• Our old, recently terminated, news director created a MySpace profile to meet women. Did I mention he's 60 years old? Check it out if you want, but be forewarned - he's not wearing a shirt in his profile picture.
  

Funny things elsewhere

Hey people! I've been busy with other projects this week, so I'll do what I always do when I'm pressed for time: phone it in and take a nap. Check out Jim's Favorites for an old post about Christmas.

RIAA+MPAA=Infuriatingly Annoying

Since I blasted the file sharing hippies last week, I’m going after the MPAA and RIAA this time, as promised.

Both of these organizations have been combating piracy even before the Internet. The RIAA tried to eliminate the tape recorder, and the MPAA tried to stop the VCR. Both fights proved to be a waste of time and money. Eventually however, somebody had the brains to say, “Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s distribute our media on these platforms at a higher quality than personally recorded versions for a fee, allowing us to make billions.”

You’d think that once the Internet became available to the public, somebody would have taken a lesson from history. The very second the media giants learned about the capabilities of online file sharing, the RIAA and MPAA should have held a meeting. I imagine that it would have gone something like this:

Jack Valenti (head of the MPAA): “Ladies and gentlemen, the board members of the RIAA have informed me that some teenagers have begun using the web to transfer music to each other for free. It’s only a matter of time before it becomes widespread, cutting into our profits as well. Does anyone have suggestions on how to deal with this?”

Board member (who I have named “Simmons” for convenience): “Let’s learn from our past mistakes and not fight it. Instead, we’ll go along with the trend, establishing our own high-quality websites, making our media available to download for a small price. If we start immediately, we’ll already have established a loyal customer base by the time anyone figures out it can be done for free, thus minimizing profit loss.”

Jack Valenti: “Brilliant, Simmons! Let’s get to work on that right away.”

That’s what should have happened. Instead, I think the meeting went more like this:

Jack Valenti: “People have started downloading music for free, and we’re probably next. What do we do?”

Simmons: “Let’s use it to our advantage, and set up our own download sites!”

Jack Valenti (into intercom): “Security, please remove Simmons from the building.”

Another board member (named “Thompson”): “Let’s use the major media outlets and taxpayer dollars to pass laws that restrict usage, invade privacy, and undermine peoples’ intelligence! Then we’ll use shady and arguably illegal business practices to spy on everyone and sue people without the resources to defend themselves!”

Jack Valenti: “Excellent idea, Thompson. Have some stock options.”

In addition, the RIAA almost seems to be trying to make itself look bad. In 2005, Elektra Entertainment group, part of the RIAA, sued Patricia Santangelo, a single mother of five as well as two of her children because, without Ms. Santangelo’s knowledge, six songs had been distributed from her computer using KaZaA software. Here’s what RIAA president Cary Sherman had to say about the case:

“And we tried to be very fair and reasonable about this and take these matters up on a case-by-case basis. But the important thing is to get the message out there that ... uploading or downloading music without authorization on the Internet is illegal.”

So let me get this straight – please, let me know if I’m misinterpreting this, Mr. Sherman – you filed about 20,000 lawsuits, victimizing people who don’t have the resources to defend themselves, and wasting time in courts using both private and taxpayer money just to tell us what we already know?! What is wrong with you?!

And by the way, what’s all this business about being “fair and reasonable?” Do you really think that a $7,500 settlement for distributing six songs is fair or reasonable? How much money did you stand to make off those songs? Now take that, and measure it with the amount of money that went into your lawsuits and the countersuits filed by the Santangelo family and others. Now factor in the PR nightmare that has resulted from suing grandfathers and asking 10 year-olds to testify against their families. Was it worth it?

So the RIAA and MPAA say they’re losing money from illegal downloads. That’s probably true. But they’re making it worse for themselves and everyone around with frivolous lawsuits. The worst possible thing you can do for a business, or even an entire economy, is attack the consumers.

I could go on, but this post is long enough. I promise I’ll have something funny next week, now that I’m slightly less filled with moral outrage.

File sharing=good. File sharers=annoying.

I watched the “documentary” Steal This Film-Part One on YouTube this weekend, since I didn't want to download the torrent. It’s split into four sections, which you can view at the links I’ve placed at the bottom of this post.

If you don’t want to take the time to watch the film (and I don’t suggest you do), it’s a Swedish film railing against intellectual property laws. Sweden is the home of The Pirate Bay, purportedly the world’s largest torrent sharing community and the focus of the production. The site went online in 2004, and because Swedish law does not prohibit the free distribution of copyrighted material by non-copyright holders, it has thrived and is still online in 2007.

I hated this movie. The first thing I noticed is that nearly everyone interviewed is hideous. There must be something in the water in Stockholm, because these guys were uglier than extras in a Romero film.

The next thing I noticed is that it includes almost no facts, other than a couple of quotes by MPAA film executives. Other than that, the movie consisted almost entirely of teenagers and twenty-somethings whining about how the corporate bullies are being greedy and deceitful.

HOLY COW! YOU’VE REVEALED THE TRUTH EVERYBODY KNOWS ALREADY! THANK GOODNESS FOR THESE BRILLIANT ADOLESCENTS!

Here’s a quote from by one of the spoiled kids on the movie:

“I don’t want to – I don’t want to give money to them. I think it’s so wrong, I just…it would be…it’s against my morals and ethics.”

Aww, you poor girl! You don’t want to pay for something a staff of people worked really hard on! Well, you know what, I agree with you on a certain level. That’s why I’m posting a recording of your quote here. And guess what? I’m not going to pay you or the producers of this film for it, because it’s against my morals and ethics!

Click to activate whining

This brings up the last reason why Steal This Film – Part One ticked me off; everone in it was riding a moral high horse. They’re talking about “revolution,” how free distribution of music and movies is somehow a God-given right, and how the corporate fatcats will never be able to stop it. I think it was best described by the same girl I quoted before. I’m not even going to bother writing it down; I’ll just let you hear it for yourselves. This is not taken out of context – it’s a whole, continuous take where the girl was asked her opinion on this righteous revolution:

Click to activate incoherent self-importance

In addition, there is a written message in the movie asserting that,

“Hollywood is a business. The ‘War on piracy’ is a war to preserve profit.”

This really is a valid point. In truth, the RIAA and MPAA probably are trying to keep their profits up. I wouldn’t have a problem with this assertion except that The Pirate Bay, apparent champion of liberty and free information is making a profit from its ad revenue. Some ads sell for over $20,000.

You can’t steal media, make a profit off it, and turn right around and complain that the companies producing the media are being greedy when they tell you to stop.

I realize that not everybody who shares files is like this. There are lots of people who share copyrighted media who never make a dime. And I honestly, have no problem with this. If I download a movie and enjoy it, I’ll probably buy the DVD (because let’s face it, there isn’t a single movie online that has a picture quality as good as the DVD). But again, there’s this air of “moral superiority” to the corporations. All over the Internet there’s chatter about a “user revolution,” or some other baloney, how torrent providers are somehow fighting a battle for consumers that we never asked for. I’ve summarized what I think of the whole “file sharing revolution” in this comic (you might want to click on it to see the full-sized version).

Before anybody out there gets on my back about the unfairness and shady business practices of the MPAA and RIAA, believe me, I know. I’m going to post a little rant about them next week.

Steal this Film - Part One (section one)

Steal this Film - Part One (section two)

Steal this Film - Part One (section three)

Steal this Film - Part One (section four)