Filling in for David Letterman

Wow, I really flaked out yesterday and forgot to update. I can't think of any decent excuse, since I'm unemployed and I'm not creative enough to lie about having a real job that keeps me distracted. Come to think of it, I probably just should have done that.

I like to remain optimistic in these times of trial. I try to keep myself under the delusion that maybe my next call won't be met with rejection, unlike the previous two-hundred. In addition, I do my best to observe the positive aspects of unemployment. I've arranged these into one of my always delightful lists, called,

The Top Ten Great Things About Being Unemployed

10. There's plenty of time to sort coins for cashing in later.
9. Daydreams of what to do with your lottery winnings become much more vivid.
8. Your toenails will never be trimmed so neatly.
7. Loss of self-esteem due to constant rejection will make even being considered for a job seem like the hand of God has descended upon you with choirs of angels just to give you a pat on the back. Also Harrison Ford is there to give you a high five.
6. As Notorious BIG said, "mo' money, mo' problems."
5. Checking Facebook and MySpace every day will help you learn everything about your friends. EVERYTHING.
4. Hours of watching "Jerry Springer" and "Maury" will make your life seem so much better by comparison.
3. High gas prices no longer matter, since you don't need to drive anywhere.
2. Plenty of time to plan your outfit for the next comic book convention.
1. Two words: sleeping in.

That's it for today. I'm going to start working on making updates more often. Those AdSense checks don't write themselves, you know! I figure if I double my traffic, in three years I'll make over a hundred dollars.