What? No Zombies?

If you've been following the news lately, you know that the world was destroyed around two o'clock this morning when the Large Hadron Collider created a black hole and crushed the entire solar system into a singularity. I have to say, it happened so quickly that I didn't even notice it.

The fact that I'm typing this post means one of two things: either Metro Atlanta was the only place in the galaxy to survive the apocalypse, or the black hole sucked everyone into some sort of parallel dimension. I'm going to guess it's the second situation, since the earth's gravitational pull seems to be the same.

It's going to take time to adjust to living in a post-apocalyptic parallel dimension. For example, in this universe, people drive straight past stop signs and slam on the brakes at "keep going" signs. In addition, I've noticed that the television news here is totally ridiculous, giving us stories about fat people eating too many hamburgers, which, while hilarious, is not exactly what we look for in reputable journalism in our dimension. Also, I've grown an extra tongue, though my parallel doctor says that might be unrelated.

What effect have you felt as a result of the apocalypse? Has anyone out there experienced the rapture yet? I hope I didn't miss it. I'll be really disappointed if I did.