An Open Letter to the Candidates

Hello, my fellow citizens! As I stated in my last post, I've been rather busy lately, what with having two jobs and looking for a more permanent career path, so please excuse my lack of a post last week. And this week. Yes, I'm sorry to say that I won't be able to make a post this week due to to my general business and a nasty incident involving a piggy bank, a car air freshener, and a crate full of potatoes. I won't get into detail, but let's just say that, "the stench was horrific," and, "the police got involved."

But because I care, I've brought in a special guest with an even more special message. Take it away, buddy!

-

Thanks, Jim. I got a couple of things to say to the guys running for president. I wrote a letter to both of them, and I figured I'd share it over the internet.

Dear Barack Obama and John McCain,

Hey, I'm Todd the roofer from Hallowell, Maine. I also install drywall and insulation. I'm not normally the type of guy to get involved in politics, but I was flipping through the channels the other night when I saw your debate. Now, you might not remember me, but I met both of you before. See, I work all over the great state of Maine, so it makes sense that I'd run into each of you when you were campaigning there. We didn't really chat a lot, just shook hands and smiled a bit for the camera. And I've got a bone to pick with each of you.

Now I don't have a big problem with the stuff the two of you stand for. Like I said, I'm not really into politics. What I want to know is, why wasn't I mentioned in your debate? What makes Joe the plumber so special? You both mentioned him God knows how many times last week, but I didn't come up once. Are you getting endorsement money from his plumbing company or something? Us roofers have needs too, you know? I got a friend named Paul over in Gardiner. He's a general contractor who I've done a few projects with. He once fell off a ladder when some teenager knocked it over. Stupid kid was messing with his iPod and walked right into it. Paul broke his arm and a couple of ribs, and was out of work for a couple of months. I heard the kid just got his iPod taken away for about a week. Did you talk about either of them? I didn't hear anyone say, "I think Paul the general contractor ought to have his job protected, and capital punishment should be legal in cases involving teenagers an music players." You never once said, "Todd the roofer needs lower taxes." Nope, it was just Joe, Joe, Joe with you two.

Anyway, unless plumbers take up an unusually big portion of voters, I think you ought to reconsider the directions your campaigns are going. The families of roofers need feedin' and teenagers need beatin' (you can both feel free to use that if you want, just give me some credit for it).

All the best,

Todd the roofer