The Spooky Winner!

As you probably already know, I announced the first annual Office Supply Halloween Costume Challenge a few weeks ago. I had hoped that this would be an opportunity for people to exercise their creativity by sticking Post-It Notes to their heads and potentially being mocked by coworkers. Sadly, this doesn't seem to be the case. Only one person entered the contest, so he gets first place by default. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the winner of the first annual Office Supply Halloween Costume Challenge!

Yes, the winner of the Challenge is none other than famed actor and bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno of The Incredible Hulk. He entered the contest with his robot costume which he made by punching holes into a filing cabinet and jamming two ballpoint pens directly into his skull. Now that's commitment to your character!

And no, this is absolutely not a badly Photoshopped image I cobbled together at the last minute. Shame on you for thinking that!

Well, this year's contest may not have turned out so well, but here's hoping for better luck next year! Happy Halloween!

Halloween Reminder

Just to remind you, this week's update will be on Friday (Halloween) to announce the winner of the Office Supply Halloween Costume Challenge! You've still got three hours left, so send in those entries!

An Open Letter to the Candidates

Hello, my fellow citizens! As I stated in my last post, I've been rather busy lately, what with having two jobs and looking for a more permanent career path, so please excuse my lack of a post last week. And this week. Yes, I'm sorry to say that I won't be able to make a post this week due to to my general business and a nasty incident involving a piggy bank, a car air freshener, and a crate full of potatoes. I won't get into detail, but let's just say that, "the stench was horrific," and, "the police got involved."

But because I care, I've brought in a special guest with an even more special message. Take it away, buddy!

-

Thanks, Jim. I got a couple of things to say to the guys running for president. I wrote a letter to both of them, and I figured I'd share it over the internet.

Dear Barack Obama and John McCain,

Hey, I'm Todd the roofer from Hallowell, Maine. I also install drywall and insulation. I'm not normally the type of guy to get involved in politics, but I was flipping through the channels the other night when I saw your debate. Now, you might not remember me, but I met both of you before. See, I work all over the great state of Maine, so it makes sense that I'd run into each of you when you were campaigning there. We didn't really chat a lot, just shook hands and smiled a bit for the camera. And I've got a bone to pick with each of you.

Now I don't have a big problem with the stuff the two of you stand for. Like I said, I'm not really into politics. What I want to know is, why wasn't I mentioned in your debate? What makes Joe the plumber so special? You both mentioned him God knows how many times last week, but I didn't come up once. Are you getting endorsement money from his plumbing company or something? Us roofers have needs too, you know? I got a friend named Paul over in Gardiner. He's a general contractor who I've done a few projects with. He once fell off a ladder when some teenager knocked it over. Stupid kid was messing with his iPod and walked right into it. Paul broke his arm and a couple of ribs, and was out of work for a couple of months. I heard the kid just got his iPod taken away for about a week. Did you talk about either of them? I didn't hear anyone say, "I think Paul the general contractor ought to have his job protected, and capital punishment should be legal in cases involving teenagers an music players." You never once said, "Todd the roofer needs lower taxes." Nope, it was just Joe, Joe, Joe with you two.

Anyway, unless plumbers take up an unusually big portion of voters, I think you ought to reconsider the directions your campaigns are going. The families of roofers need feedin' and teenagers need beatin' (you can both feel free to use that if you want, just give me some credit for it).

All the best,

Todd the roofer

It'll happen someday

Sorry about the delayed update, folks. I've been a little preoccupied, now that I've taken on a second job with, "the best company ever," (at least that's what the narrators said on the training video). The name of this company will not be mentioned here, as I kind of need the money right now.

Anyway, next Monday I'll either be writing about the final Presidential debate or Pop Rocks. I haven't really decided yet.

How to make a Halloween Mask with Stolen Office Supplies

You read correctly, my dear friends! As a young professional on the go, I know how difficult it is to take time out of a busy schedule to pick out a Halloween costume. And in this age of economic uncertainty, who can afford to buy one in the first place? Luckily, I have discovered a way for you to make your own Halloween monster mask using supplies that can be found in any office space. All you need is about ten minutes during your lunch break and to follow my steps. First, you'll need the following supplies:

1. Post-It notes
2. Pens (your choice of color)
3. Scissors
4. Tape
5. Stapler (optional)

Step 1
Take three Post-It notes off the pad and draw a different facial feature on each.

Step 2
Cut out holes in the eyes and mouth. The eye holes are there for obvious reasons, and you'll need a mouth hole so people can hear your MIGHTY ROAR! It's also good for eating candy.


Step 3
Accessorize! I used the staples to give my monster a spooky scar beneath its eye and put braces on its teeth.


Step 4
If you have a beard or naturally greasy forehead (or both) put tape on the paper for extra adhesion, then slap the notes on your face! This spooky monster mask is sure to terrify of your coworkers this Halloween (in more ways than one).


Don't get too terrified! This mask is just a rudimentary design. I know that the possibilities are endless, and I want to see your designs! That's why I'm announcing the first annual Office Supply Halloween Costume Challenge. The Challenge is to create a Halloween mask or costume using nothing but supplies found around your place of work. Send a photo of yourself in the costume, and you could win the big prize! Actually, I don't have enough money to give out a big prize, but the winner will get a flattering review of his or her site on this blog. Plus, all the photos will be featured here on October 31st. Here are the rules:

1. You may only use materials from your place of work. Nothing may be brought from home.
2. The photo must be taken at your place of work, so you'll have to take the same risk of embarrassment I did.
   
3. You may not use items already intended to be costumes or parts of costumes.
4. Entries must be sent as an email attachment to the address in my profile.
   
5. All entries must be received by 11:59 PM EST on October 27.

That's it! I look forward to seeing your terrifying faces! I mean costumes! COSTUMES!