A Sad Epiphany

I was going to review Burger King's "Angry Whopper," but Marvo at The Impulsive Buy (one of my favorite blogs) beat me to it. It's eerie how similar his post is to the one I was going to write. So I've really got no choice but to go on another hamburger-related rant.

If you've seen any TV lately, you've no doubt seen Wendy's new "3conomics" commercials, promoting the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, Double Stack, and Crispy Chicken Sandwich. I apologize for the lousy quality of the image; it's the only one I could find (and all the YouTube videos of them have been taken down).

The commercials basically consist of three guys on their lunch break while the guy in the jumpsuit explains how their sandwiches are a good deal. However, when I first saw these commercials what I noticed the most was that the guy on the left looked familiar. That's because his name is David Dastmalchian, who played Thomas Schiff, the Joker's schizophrenic henchman in The Dark Knight.

Now most of you are probably thinking, "Oh, well that's an interesting coincidence!" But that's where you're wrong. Dastmalchian's appearance in the 3conomics commercials is a stroke of marketing and movie making genius by Wendy's. Don't you see? These "commercials" are really a lead-in to the third part of the Batman trilogy!

See, I think that this new storyline takes place during Batman Begins, only from Thomas Schiff's perspective. This is way before the Joker started his crime spree, and Schiff was just an average blue collar guy eating hamburgers with his buddies. Maybe he kept a diary, too. I bet it would look something like this:

October 3

Dear Diary,
Today was my first day of work at Wayne Enterprises! I've already made some new friends. Their names are Paul and Howie. Paul works with me in accounting, and Howie works down in the warehouse. We all got Wendy's for lunch. Howie told me about this weird thing he calls "3conomics." I think he meant "Freakonomics," but I decided to let it slide.

Love,
Tom

As time goes on, I can imagine there are a bunch of tie-ins to the first movie.

November 18

Dear Diary,
Work has been steady. I've been eating lunch with Paul and Howie a lot. For some reason, Howie keeps insisting that we get Wendy's. I've gained about five pounds because of it. Paul and I told Howie that we wanted to try something new, like that Italian bistro two blocks up from the office, but then he just launches into another one of his 3conomics rants. Plus, the other day he took my hamburger away to "demonstrate the law of supply and demand." Howie's kind of a jerk.

Love,
Tom

P.S.: By the way, I heard on the news that Bruce Wayne came back to Gotham after going missing all those years. Pretty cool, huh?

As we watch, we can see Schiff slowly losing his mind, until eventually the Scarecrow's fear gas pushes him over the edge.

December 1

Dear Diary,
Today started that same as always. I went into work, and that stupid Howie says we all have to go get Wendy's. I was kind of ticked off, but then all these weird people started attacking the city! They're using some kind of gas. Wait, I smell something funny. Oh no, it's coming in through the vents! It's filling up the room! Am I going to suffocate?! Am I going to YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SICK AND TIRED OF EATING ****ING HAMBURGERS EVERY ****ING DAY! YOU HEAR THAT, HOWIE YOU SON OF A *****?! AND 3CONOMICS ISN'T EVEN A WORD!!! IT'S JUST A STUPID THING YOU MADE UP TO MAKE ME BUY YOU LUNCH AND THEN YOU JUST STEAL MINE ANYWAY AND ALL THIS FOOD IS CLOGGING MY ARTERIES AND I'M JUST GONNA GO AND ****ING BLOW UP EVERYTHING AND THEN MAYBE GO PLAY HOPSCOTCH OHJEEZ WHATS ALL THIS CRAZY STUFF GOING ON OUTSIDE HOLYCOW IT'S THE BATMAN I THINK I'LL GO EAT HIS FACE BECAUSE IT'LL BE BETTER THAN EATING WENDY'S AGAIN!!!!! BLEARGHARGHHSHOAEIDSIFHLK!

Do you see the genius of this ad campaign? I'd sure like to shake the hands of the people who put this together.