ABBout to Go Crazy

The commercials on the display TVs in an average electronics department run on a five-minute loop. This means that us employees have to listen to the same jingles over and over again over the course of an eight-hour work day. I didn't mind that much; even when the insufferable Christmas songs started in November. But now I fear that I may be driven insane by what the corporation I work for has decided to display: ABBA.

You see, after the release of the film Mamma Mia! The Movie, a film based entirely on ABBA's songs, sales for the group's albums soared. Due to both of these successes, the people at Sony decided it would be a great idea to make a new SingStar karaoke game entirely centered on ABBA. What Sony failed to realize was that Mamma Mia!'s fan base consists almost entirely of forty to sixty year-old women, hardly the video gaming demographic. Thanks to this ad campaign which is sure to fail, I have to hear clips of "Mamma Mia," "Dancing Queen," and "Waterloo" for nearly eight straight hours whenever I go into work.

On the list of things I hate, ABBA is definitely in the top five. In fact, I keep a list of the top things I hate with me at all times. Here it is:

1. Hypocrisy
2. Dishonesty
3. Ignorance
4. ABBA
5. Terrorism

ABBA is like poison for the ears. Hearing ABBA about a hundred times a day is like being stabbed repeatedly with a poison-tipped sword until you bleed to death. And yes, I did make a reference to Hamlet while complaining about a video game commercial. My hatred for this pop group is that epic, Shakespearean in scope, if you will. Because ABBA is the Shakespeare of bad music.

I think I've lost my train of thought. My righteous anger has made me so confused that I can't focus anymore. I will quell it by reading about all the bands you hate.